Getting married in Shanghai hm? Follow the these three steps for success:

1. Round up all the friends you have with black cars, because black is serious. Weddings are serious. If you don’t have that many friends with classy black cars, rent a bunch, as my neighbor here has. Specifically:

2: Luxury cars. Mercedes are great. They demonstrate wealth and power. And alpha-maleness.

3. Put some teddy bears in wedding garb on the front of the luxury car. Everyone likes teddy bears. These also demonstrate exceptional levels of alpha-maleness.