Ah there’s nothing like sipping a steaming mug of rice liquor while riding a train through the Middle Kingdom. Delicious and romantic. But what are you to do abroad, where access to such divine spirits remains limited? Fear not, for below lies the ancient wisdom of 杜康 (Dukang), translated by yours truly:

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While I’m eating outside.

In my experience, the structure of culture-shock generally tends towards: extreme highs at the beginning, followed by a crash (when you realize a year is in fact a decent amount of time). But fear not – minor emotional quibbles can be easily ignored, by introducing yourself to local spirits. En masse.