With the global capitalist panopticon in the midst of history’s largest financially engineered caustic death spasm, it seems prudent to switch sides. Yes it’s maybe opportunistic, but damnit I’m greedy and power hungry. As such I’ve enrolled in Wuhan University’s PhD seminar on ‘Marxism and Modern Scientific Theories of Socialism‘* (Dep’t of Economics). Professor Wang was explaining Chinese interpretations of Rawls’ ‘A Theory of Justice,’ and noted that prevailing ideas about economic equality are context sensitive. He did however offer up this gem:
You know, even in the ostensibly capitalist West, most of the public toilets have toilet paper anyone can use. There’s no great fear of the proletariat just running off with all of it, like there is here! Just imagine, all the sanitary paper you could ever want… So even in non-socialist countries, you can see the forces of scarcity at work…
In the interests of diplomacy, I did not blurt out “Comrade**, the very abundance of which you speak was made possible by <insert germane classical liberal argument here. oh! better yet a slippery slope argument: the sanitary paper slippery slope: you can never have enough. time for an essay – ‘on the optimal allocation of sanitary paper: experimental algorithms’>.”